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Funny Pet Jokes 

March 15, 2024

Have you heard any good jokes lately? As you may know, we usually use this blog space to share helpful information and advice about our animal friends and their care needs. Of course, we also like to include bits of humor when we can. That only makes sense. One of the best things about pets is the fact that they make us laugh. Our animal companions are like live-in comedians, providing us with ongoing entertainment. As a fun way to celebrate our furry friends’ silly sides, we’re sharing some of our favorite bad pet jokes.  In this article from Fairfield Animal Hospital, your Cypress, TX pet hospital, a local veterinary clinic shares some staff favorites.

Just Kitten Ya

What song do cats like? Three Blind Mice

Why do cats go to med school? To become first-aid kits
Where did the school kittens go on their field trip? To the mewseum
Where did the cat go after it lost its tail? To the retail store

What is the difference between a cat and a sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws; a sentence has a pause at the end of its clause

What is Fluffy’s favorite color? Purrr-ple
Who was the first feline to fly in an airplane? Kitty-hawk
Why are cats good at video games? They have nine lives
Why can’t leopards hide? They’re always spotted
Have you ever seen a catfish? No. How did he hold the rod and reel?

What game do cats like to play with mice? Catch

What does a cat have for breakfast? Mice Crispies!

Why are cats such bad storytellers? They only have one tale

Why don’t cats enjoy online shopping? They prefer to use a cat-alogue

That Hits The Spot

What did the dog say after he sat on sandpaper? Ruff!
What kind of dog keeps the best time? Watch dogs
Why was the poor dog chasing his own tail? He was just trying to make ends meet
What happened to the dog who only ate garlic? His bark was definitely worse than his bite

Why did the cat want a drum set? He wanted to make mewsic

Why do dogs tend to run in circles? Because it’s really hard to run in squares

What could be more incredible than a talking dog? A spelling bee

Why couldn’t the dog get the apple? He was barking up the wrong tree

What trick did the loaf of bread teach the dog? Roll over

What trees have the best bark? Dogwoods

What happens if you cross a dog with a phone?A Golden Receiver

Why don’t you want to play board games with cats? They tend to be cheetahs.

How do cats say goodbye? See ya litter!

What did one flea say to the other flea after their date? Should we walk home or take the dog?

What kind of dog consumes food with its ears? All of them! I haven’t seen a single dog remove their ears before digging in

What does a cat say after making a joke? “Just kitten!”

What do you call dog magicians? Labracadabradors

What’s it called when all the kitty treats are gone? Cat-astrophe.

Why aren’t dogs good dancers? They have two left feet
What do you call a pooch that is left-handed? A south paw
What type of markets do dogs need to avoid? Flea markets
What type of dogs does Dracula have? Bloodhounds

What do dogs like to eat for breakfast? Pooched eggs

What dog doesn’t bark? A hushpuppy

What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog? A rocker spaniel

What would you call a cold canine? A chili dog

What happens when it is raining cats and dogs? You could step in a poodle
What do dogs and phones have in common? They have collar IDs

What dog likes taking bubble baths? The shampoodle
What did the fish name his pet dog? Gill

Where should you look first if your dog is missing? The lost and hound

Why do dogs float? Because they’re good buoys

Which dog breed is will always laugh at our jokes? A Chi-ha-ha

What do you call wolves that use bad language? Swearwolves

What do you call wolves that get lost? Where-wolves

What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator? A best friend you can count on 

What did the Dalmatian say after he ate? That really hit the spot

Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? He wanted to get a long, little doggie

Are dogs good at science? Labs are

What did the dog study at college? Bark-eology

What do you call a really cold dog? A pupsicle

What happened when the little Scottish dog saw a monster? He was terrier-fied

What do you give to a dog that has a fever? Mustard! It’s great for hot dogs

What do you do if your dog chews up your dictionary? Take the words out of his mouth

Where do you put barking dogs? A barking lot

What’s the best time to paint a dog? When they’re asleep

Tipping The Scales

What should you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator

Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the other ssssssside

What sort of snakes are found on cars? Windshield viper

What do you get when you cross a snake with a pie? A pie-thon

What’s the most popular movie with reptiles? The Lizard of Oz

What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad

Gone To The Birds

What do you call sarcastic ducks? Wise quackers

What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!

Why did the turkey cross the road? To show that he wasn’t chicken

What birds are always sad? Blue jays

Why do birds fly south in the winter? It’s way too far to walk

What shows do ducks watch on TV? Duck-umentaries

What bird works at a construction site? The crane

Why do seagulls live by the sea? If they lived by bay, they’d be bagels

What do you give a sick bird? Proper tweetment

What does a sick chicken say? I have the people-pox

 Farm Animal Funnies

Where do sheep go on vacation? The Baaaahamas

Why did the pig have ink on his face? He just came out of the pen

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backward? A receding hare line

Why shouldn’t you play basketball with pigs? Because they hog the ball

Why don’t cows ever have any money? The farmers milk them dry

Why did the cow go to New York? To see the moo-sicals

How many hours do chickens work? Around the cluck

What kind of milk do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk

What was the first animal to go into space? The cow who jumped over the moon

What do you do if being charged by a bull? Pay him

What do you call sleeping bulls? Bull-dozers

Why do cows never have any money? Because the farmers always milk them dry

Make An Appointment At Your Cypress, TX Pet Clinic

All jokes aside, do you have questions about your pet’s health or care? Please feel free to contact us here at Fairfield Animal Hospital, your Cypress, TX pet hospital. We are dedicated to offering excellent veterinary care!

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